Canine Behavior: Living with a Jealous Dog

By Linda Cole

It can be hard to understand why dogs do the things they do. Their actions are related to how we treat them and what their personality is like. A dog with a jealous streak is being possessive and domineering. Whether there are other pets in the home or not, a dog showing jealousy can affect an entire household.

Living with a jealous dog can be a challenge, especially if he's also protective of the one he loves. A jealous dog is most likely one with a dominant personality, but not all dominant dogs are jealous. A dog who is jealous is trying to tell you he's concerned about his place in your heart. Adding a new pet to your family is upsetting to any pet already in the home, but a dog with a jealous streak may need more time to get used to the idea of sharing you and his home. Any change to a household, whether it's another pet, roommate or variation in routine, can cause a dog to react in a way you've never seen before.

Routine is one of the most important and stabilizing factors in a dog's life. They eat from the same bowl at the same time and in the same place every day. Dogs know when it's time to go outside or go for a walk. Changes to their schedule, even small changes we may not notice, are observed by dogs. A jealous dog may see a change in routine as a threat to his position in the home and in your eyes. A new pet or person changes the routine.

A jealous dog will try to push his way in between you and another pet or person. He may become withdrawn, lose his appetite or show signs of depression or aggression, which may be more of a defensive behavior than outright aggression. Rule out health concerns that could be causing a loss of appetite or any of the other signs of jealousy by getting a thorough veterinary exam. With a clean bill of health, you're ready to tackle your dog's jealousy.

Because dogs are individuals, some will take longer to accept a new pet. It took my jealous dog Kelly six months to accept two new puppies we took in from a neighbor. Most pets will adjust in a lot shorter time, but you have to give your dog the time they need to accept a new member of the household, whether it's human or pet – and there isn’t a set time period for that adjustment.

Ignore a jealous pet trying to push in between you and another pet or person. Turn away from him and continue giving attention to the pet or person. Don't push a jealous dog away, yell at him or unfairly punish him. Tell him “No” and have him lie down or sit until you're finished giving attention to another pet or person. If necessary, remove him from the room, but don't forget him. As soon as you're finished, bring him back and give him attention. You don't want him to feel like he's being punished, but he needs to learn you are the one who decides when attention is given. When it's his turn, don't let the other pet or person come between you and your jealous dog. Give him extra time to let him know he's not being replaced. He just wants to be reassured you still love him. Always reward good behavior and address unacceptable behavior, especially if it's aggressive.

If a jealous dog intimidates a new dog and won't allow him access to the couch or bed, it's up to you to show both dogs what's acceptable. Treat them equally. My dog Kelly didn't like other pets on the couch with us. I stopped sitting on the couch and ignored her outbursts. If she became vocal, I left the room. Now when I sit on the couch with her and one of the other pets wants to sit with us, she's learned to share. She still has a jealous streak that probably won’t ever go away, but she knows I still love her and she accepts the other pets.

If a jealous dog tries to hog treats, toys or beds, or steals things from other pets, take it away from them and give it back to the one who had it. Feed them in separate bowls, and give them their own toys to play with. Teaching your dog basic commands allows you to have control of them. Walking is a great way for dogs to learn they're a family. Exercise and training stimulates their minds and puts them on equal ground. For more information on how to deal with a jealous dog, see “Jealousy and Possessive Behavior in Dogs.”

Photo: "Ketzel Gets Jealous" by Redjar

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Jealousy and Possessive Behavior in Dogs

By Linda Cole

Possessive behavior in dogs is actually quite common. We often see them guarding their favorite toy or sleeping spot, or making sure other pets in the house stay away from their feeding bowl or treat “cookie jar.” In a way, it's hard to blame them for protecting what they believe belongs to them, and that includes their human. After all, we display the same tendencies toward other people. Being possessive of a toy or favorite resting area is one thing, but if your dog is jealous, that's another ballgame that can quickly get out of control.

Jealousy in dogs is not cute, and we unknowingly encourage bad behavior each time the dog is allowed to display this emotion with no correction from us. Jealousy can occur when you bring in a new pet, start a new relationship, have a baby or when there is any other change in your life which takes your attention away from your dog. In his mind, he has stood by you through thick and thin, and given unconditional love— and now you are giving your attention to someone else. How rude.

Kelly is my alpha female. She’s an adorable 14 year old terrier/mix who has eyes only for me. As far as she is concerned, I belong to her and it's her duty to protect me. I didn't realize she had taken on the role as my protector until the day she actually nipped at a friend who took one step too close to me. With my eyes opened, I began to notice it wasn't just my friend. Kelly was also protecting me from the other dogs and cats in my pack. The change in our household was a job that required a lot of overtime. I also was caring for my father who had fallen and was recovering from a broken hip. They did not get along; his walker scared her, and he was afraid of her. I had to confine Kelly when I was at work, and her little heart was broken.

Jealousy and possessive behavior in dogs can be a serious behavior problem. Some dogs will exhibit signs of depression or a loss of appetite. They may be withdrawn or show signs of aggression that you've never seen before. Kelly would lie beside me on the couch, and if another dog or cat came too close, she would leap at them with a high pitched warning bark. She was like a rattlesnake lashing out. This stressed out not only her, but the other pets and me as well.

So how do you deal with jealousy and possessive behavior in dogs? The solution isn't as difficult as it may seem, but it requires consistent dedication and a calm steady hand. Whether you know it or not, before your dog became jealous, the two of you had a daily routine. Perhaps it was a morning walk before going to work, playing ball after work, or a relaxing ear scratching session while watching TV. To a dog, routine is important because he sees any change as him losing his place by your side and in your heart.

Reassure him with extra attention and maintain a daily schedule of walking, feeding, talking to and playing with him. Encourage positive interaction between him and any new member of the pack, whether it is human or another pet.

Reestablish basic training ground rules. Your dog may need to be reminded who the boss is. A jealous or possessive dog needs to be watched and as the pack leader, you need to step in and control any signs of aggression or negative behavior before they get out of control. Make sure to reward desired behavior with a yummy treat (like CANIDAE® Snap-Bits™) or extra back scratching time. Your dog is just looking for reassurance that you still value him.

Kelly is still jealous of the other pets, but she has realized her role in the pack has not changed. I started a new routine: walks with other members of the pack, special time set aside just for her which included head scratching and girl talk, along with appropriate pack leader discipline from me when needed.

Dealing with jealousy and possessive behavior in dogs is ongoing. It's worth the effort to maintain peace in the family for their well being as well as our own. Besides, our dogs think we are the most wonderful creatures around and want to please us. The least we can do is be responsible pack leaders and set rules that are consistent and clear. In doing so, our dogs will understand their place in the pack and know what we expect from them.

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