How to Bond with Your Cat

By Julia Williams

One of the most prevalent myths about cats is also one that, as a lifelong cat lover, I can unequivocally refute. Cats are said to be aloof, independent creatures that shun humans and don’t form close bonds with them. Many people joke that the only use cats have for people is to keep their food dish full. If that were really true, I imagine there would be a lot less cat owners in the world. Cats can and do bond with humans. This is not to say there aren’t aloof cats among us. There are, yet I believe the vast majority of them are not born aloof but become that way as a result of their environment or lack of human interaction.

Not counting the “family cats” of my childhood, I’ve been a mom to 12 different felines, and have had a close relationship with all of them. Learning how to bond with your cat is not rocket science. It’s more about knowing a few simple things about cats that will help you forge a mutual close relationship.

Respect Your Cat’s Individuality

This is by far the most important thing you can do if you want to have a good relationship with your cat. It’s crucial because cats are individuals and each one has very different likes and dislikes. Moreover, they don’t enjoy being forced to do something they don’t like. Imagine what would happen if you took a child who disliked roller coasters on the Matterhorn ride at Disneyland. They’d scream, cry, kick and make your life miserable. The same principle holds true with cats.

Some cats love being held and hugged, while others don’t. One cat may love having its belly rubbed, while another might think this is a form of torture. If you want to bond with your cat, you need to first learn what it likes and what it doesn’t like. Then you can spend your time doing the things your cat prefers rather than trying to force it to do things it doesn’t enjoy.

Although you may want a cat that enjoys being petted while sitting on your lap, you may actually have a cat that prefers being petted while it’s lying on the bed or the floor. Unfortunately, you get what you get, and you can’t change your cat’s preferences by wishing or by force. This is one reason I love having more than one cat. My three cats all like different things, so I get to enjoy a little of everything. For example, one cat doesn’t like being held or kissed but will sit on my lap for petting, for as long as I indulge him. One likes to be cradled like a baby but is not a fan of the lap. One loves to be brushed while two do not. You get the idea. It’s all about what the cat likes, not what you like!

Spend Time with Your Cat

You simply can’t expect to bond with your cat if you don’t interact with them on a daily basis. This is especially true if you work outside the home and are gone for most of your cat’s day. If you come home, plop on the couch to watch TV and don’t pet your cat or play with them, do you think they don’t notice? It’s preposterous to think that cats don’t have feelings and don’t know when they’re being ignored. They certainly do, and they don’t feel all warm and fuzzy toward the people who ignore them. Greet your cat enthusiastically every time you come home. Engage them in play with their furry mouse or feather toy. Show them that they matter to you, and you may be surprised to see that they actually meet you at the front door!

Talk to Your Cat

Even though your cat will not understand everything you say, they can and do learn certain words. Aside from that, they love hearing your voice and they know that you’re speaking to them and paying attention to them. You can talk to them about anything and everything because what you say doesn’t matter nearly so much as how often you speak to them and are focused solely on them.

These tips are all things I have learned from many years of having cats in my life. I really believe that anyone can form a close bond with their cat if they desire it, and are willing to do a few simple things to nurture the feline-human relationship. When you treat your cat like family, respect their individuality and see them as sentient beings that want to give and receive love, your relationship will blossom.

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Dispelling Common Cat Myths and Misconceptions

By Julia Williams

There are a lot of mistakenly held beliefs about cats that have no basis in fact. Now, I don’t claim to know everything there is to know about cats (not even close, actually) but over the years I have learned a thing or two. Here are some of the most common myths about cats.

Cat Myth #1: Cats should drink cow’s milk every day

We’ve all seen the cute image of a kitten lapping milk from a dish. Most cats do love the taste of dairy, but they certainly don’t need it to be healthy. Moreover, many cats are lactose intolerant, and giving them milk, cream or ice cream can result in gastric upset. Feed them a high quality natural cat food like FELIDAE Grain Free Salmon formula instead (it’s a favorite at my house).

Cat Myth #2:  Cats always land on their feet

Because cats have a flexible musculoskeletal system and a “righting reflex” that allows them to twist their bodies in the air, most cats who fall from high places are able to orient themselves to land on their feet. Shorter-distance falls, however, have a lower survival rate. Although this may seem contradictory, two possible reasons have been given.

One, when a cat falls from a short distance it may not have enough time to right itself. Two, the scientific study of falling cats (“feline pesematology”) concluded that cats tend to panic and curl their bodies up during a fall, until they reach terminal velocity when they relax and spread out, which slows them down and reduces the stress of the landing. Thus, a longer fall allows the cat to reach terminal velocity whereas a short fall does not.

In any case, even cats who land on their feet after a fall can suffer broken bones and serious injuries. Responsible pet owners who live in high-rise apartments should have window screens to protect their feline friends from a fall.

Cat Myth #3:  Cats are not affectionate

The notion that cats are haughty creatures who don’t form strong bonds with people and don’t give and receive affection really makes me laugh. I’m 100% certain that anyone who believes this has never been loved by a cat. Although it’s true that some cats are more affectionate than others, more often than not the way a cat is treated (or has been treated in the past) directly contributes to the way it acts and reacts to humans. Any mistreated animal will have issues with trust, and cats that are largely ignored tend to ignore their human in return. But treat them like they are your best beloved friend, and they will be just that, and so much more.

Cat Myth #4: Cats can see in the dark

Cats can’t see in total darkness, but they can see in semi-darkness much better than humans or any other animal can. This is because cats’ eyes are designed so the iris (the colored portion of the eye) can open very wide to let in as much light as possible. Additionally, cats have extremely large eyes relative to the size of their head, and they also have about 24 whiskers that help them find their way around in the dark.

Cat Myth #5: Pregnant women shouldn’t own cats

Some cats can be infected with a parasite called toxoplasma gondii, which can cause a disease called toxoplasmosis. Pregnant women can get toxoplasmosis from handling cat waste, and babies born to mothers who become infected for the first time just before or during pregnancy can have serious health problems. It sounds scary; however, pregnant women can own cats if they take a few simple precautions. Ideally, someone else should clean the cat’s litter box. If that’s not possible, pregnant women should wear disposable gloves and wash their hands thoroughly with soap and warm water afterwards.

Cat Myth #6: Cats can take care of themselves

Though some cats do give off an independent aura that seems to say “I do not need you, human,” it’s far from the truth. Cats are no more capable of taking care of themselves than dogs or human babies. Any number of injuries and health problems can occur when cats are left to fend for themselves while their owners are away on vacation or business trips. Responsible pet owners hire a “cat sitter” or make other arrangements to keep their feline family member safe while they’re gone. Read more about this prevalent cat myth in Is It Okay to Leave a Cat Home Alone?

There are a lot more myths and misconceptions about cats that people believe – what are some of your favorites?

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