Do Our Pets Love Us?

Photo by Noël Zia Lee

By Julia Williams

Amazingly, there are people in this world who still believe animals are incapable of having or showing emotions. Among the doubters are scientists, non-pet people, and those who have pets but view them more as a fun accessory rather than sentient beings. It can be hard for people who’ve formed strong bonds with animals to comprehend this way of thinking, because our experiences tell a different story.

Part of the problem could be that there is no concrete way to measure love, no real “proof” of this emotion that’s one of the strongest human motivators. We can clearly see (and to an extent measure) other emotions, such as fear and anger. Love is impossible to see with the naked eye, unless you take into account the many ways we can “show” others that we love them.

Humans can say “I Love You” out loud to others, but we also express love by our actions. This might be a gentle caress of a lover’s cheek, a kiss on a child’s skinned knee, or lending a helping hand to a friend in need. Our pets can tell us they love us in nonverbal ways too. When I go to bed, Belle comes and nestles under my chin, so very close to my heart. One might say, “Well, she’s just trying to stay warm.” But she does this year round, even on hot summer nights when the room has yet to cool. 

My lap cat Mickey’s customary way to say he loves me is by giving me a little lick on my nose every so often. Rocky shows his love by giving me kitty head-butts – when I reach down to pet him, he moves his head up to meet my hand halfway. Belle also gives me kitty head-butts on my face when I’m brushing her. Does she know it pleases me greatly? Hard to say, but when I ask her for them, she nearly always complies.

When people love us, they want to be near us, and our pets are no different. I smile whenever I think about the night I was ill and couldn’t fall asleep with three cats on the bed. I would put them on the floor hoping they’d go find another place to sleep but they’d come right back up. Eventually I grabbed my pillow and a blanket, and moved to the couch to get away from them. In less than five minutes all three cats were lying next to me on the couch.

Animals also show love for humans by what they do after becoming separated from their families. Cats and dogs have traveled thousands of miles to reunite with those they love. If they were simply interested in getting fed, why not just sit down on the doorstep of the nearest house? And what of legendary dogs like Hachiko and Greyfriar’s Bobby, who showed their love and devotion long after their owners had died? Hachiko waited for his companion at the train station every night for nine years, and Greyfriar’s Bobby sat by his master’s grave for fourteen years. If that’s not love, what is it?

You can see love quite clearly in a person’s eyes when you look at them, and you can see it in your pet’s eyes too. All you have to do is look for it, and believe that what you see is real. Because it is – of this I have no doubt. I do not need to hear those three little words to know that my cats love me. Far better to see it is their eyes and in their actions, which as we all know, speak infinitely louder.

Anyone who needs to ponder the question “Do our pets love us?” for longer than a minute or two, has sadly not experienced what I see as one of life’s great joys. To love and be loved by a pet is a blessing. Tell me, how does your pet show their love for you?

Read more articles by Julia Williams

Do Pets Forget About Us Over Time?

By Linda Cole

Sometimes, because of situations beyond our control, we have to find a pet a new home. An illness or change in jobs can force a loving owner to have to give their pet away. We develop such a close bond with our pets, we never forget them. But do pets forget about us over time? There's no shortage of stories recounting the adventures of pets who traveled hundreds of miles to find their family. When a close bond has been broken and pets have to form a new one with a new family, are we still in their mind? Do they forget about us or do they retain some memory of their old life?

My mom fought a lifelong battle with rheumatoid arthritis, and was in and out of the hospital for as long as I can remember, undergoing numerous surgeries to correct the damage caused by her disease. Complications from her last surgery kept her in the hospital far longer than expected. I was taking care of her pets at my house. As their extended stay turned into months, one of her dogs, Ben, began to mope around the house. Mom passed away in the hospital and I started the chore of bringing her belongings to my house. Ben perked up when he smelled familiar scents, and he burrowed under her bedding I had brought over to wash. He ran from room to room as if he were looking for something, and I always wondered if it was simply the smells he remembered or if he was looking for my mom. I do believe he remembered his life with her when he smelled familiar scents from his home.

We know a lot about dogs and cats, but whether pets forget about us when they go to a new home or become lost is still a mystery. But there are amazing examples of how a cat or dog walked hundreds of miles to get back home when they were lost, given away or relocated to a temporary home. A cat walked 1,000 miles through the Australian outback to return to his home after he was taken to stay temporarily with a family member while his owners were overseas. What's truly remarkable is how he knew which way to go, and that he survived in a region where many people have trouble surviving. It took him a year to cover his 1,000 mile trek home!

A well known example of a dog who refused to leave his master's side is Greyfriar's Bobby, a Skye terrier who became a fixture on his owner's grave for 14 years. Even though people in the community tried to adopt Bobby, he always ran away and returned to the cemetery.

Some pets seem to be more tuned into their owners than other pets. We know some dogs have the mental capacity of three year olds. Cats are much smarter than they're given credit for, and some dogs and cats do exhibit problem solving abilities. We can remember significant things that happened when we were three. So why should it surprise us if some pets can remember?

If pets do forget about us over time, then how do we explain the ones who crossed rivers and mountains to return to their homes? Some have even left their old home to find their owner who moved to a new location that was unfamiliar to the pet and yet, they were able to find them.

No one knows how pets are able to do this. It really is amazing how some pets are so connected with their owners that they will go in search of them. Some accounts of pets returning to their old home could be due to the pet wanting to be in familiar and comfortable territory. But that wouldn't explain why a pet would pull up roots, leaving their old home to go in search of an owner who moved hundreds of miles away or one who passed away.

Pets instinctively hide pain or injuries so they don't appear weak. Is it possible they're good at hiding their feelings as well? Love is a hard emotion to define when it comes to our pets. We love them, but do they love us in return? I think they do. Do pets forget about us over time? It probably depends on the pet. Some are willing to do whatever it takes to be with the ones they feel comfortable and safe with. Love, after all, is a comfortable and safe feeling. Maybe it's that simple for some pets – it’s a familiar bond with their human that remains no matter where we are.

Read more articles by Linda Cole

Do Our Emotions Affect Our Pets?

By Julia Williams

I recently saw a TV commercial that featured a depressed man whose dog sat there looking very sad because his owner was not giving him any attention. An internet search revealed it was part of the “Depression Hurts” campaign for the anti-depressant Cymbalta. This ad asks, “Who does depression hurt? Everyone.” Apparently, this includes our pets. Delving further on Google, I found this interesting post on Twitter: “Is it just me, or does the Cymbalta commercial kind of guilt you into taking depression meds so your dog won't be sad for you anymore?”

This got me to thinking about human emotions, and pondering whether we, as pet owners, pass our moods and feelings on to our pets. Could a depressed owner create a depressed dog? Could the pet of a stressed out, anxious, angry, manic or overly fearful owner begin to feel the same way? In contrast, would the pet of a cheerful, optimistic, happy-go-lucky human be just like them?

I suppose one first has to ask, do pets have emotions? Some people, especially scientific types and those who are not “pet people,” say no. They believe emotions exist only in humans. However, most pet owners tend to disagree, because they see proof that animals have emotions every day. Responsible pet owners who spend quality time with their animal companions, can tell what kind of mood they are in by reading their body language and facial expressions. We know whether our pets are eager or fearful, happy or sad, mad or content. What are those then, if not emotions?

Every pet owner likely has no shortage of anecdotal evidence of their dog or cat picking up on their emotional state. We see firsthand just how sensitive animals are to our moods, and we see them react accordingly. When I am sad and crying, my cats all crowd around me. They head-butt my hands and face, try other things to get my attention, and stick to me like glue if I am in bed. It’s as if they are saying, “We know you are hurting, how can we make it better?”

I also know that when I am in high spirits, my cats seem happier too. Rocky will sometimes meet me at the door when I come home. After I pick him up, hug him exuberantly and tell him how glad I am to see him, he then prances around the kitchen like he’s king of the castle. Dogs are often more aggressive to people who fear them. Much like children will do when their parents fight, dogs and cats slink away to hide or sulk when their owners are arguing.

Nonetheless, it can be hard to convince science-minded individuals that animals have emotions, primarily because it's nearly impossible to measure feelings. While it may be crystal clear to a pet owner that their dog or cat has as a full spectrum of emotions, science can’t quantify them – yet. As such, it’s easy to discount the role that emotions play in pets.

From an evolutionary standpoint, it seems silly to believe that the ability to sense mood occurred for the first and only time in the human animal. Yet even if we believe that animals have emotions and can sense our moods, does that mean we automatically transfer our feelings to our pets? If a person is constantly agitated or angry, I am positive this would negatively affect their pet’s emotional state. But is the pet taking on those emotions, or are they merely reacting to them? What do you think?

Read more articles by Julia Williams

Pets Can Teach Children Valuable Life Skills

By Julia Williams

Bringing a pet into your home – and your heart – offers so many benefits. Laughter, love and joy are three wonderful things I have an abundance of, thanks in large part to my three cats. Pets provide companionship to the lonely, and they can be great teachers for children too. Encouraging children to take an active role in caring for a pet helps them learn important life skills and lessons, while also learning about responsible pet ownership. Here are eight essential skills the family pet can teach your children.

Responsibility

Giving children age-appropriate chores related to feeding, grooming, and cleaning up after the family pet helps them understand what it means to be responsible, dependable and conscientious. Taking care of a pet teaches children the importance of being reliable, since the pet is counting on them to provide what they need. At the same time, tasks like bathing, brushing and grooming can deepen the bond between pet and child.

Patience and Consistency

House-breaking a puppy or a kitten can teach children to be patient, because young animals do not learn everything they need to know overnight. Some pets are slower to learn than others and thus require more time and effort, but consistent methods are a vital element of training success. Having your child help with the pet’s house-breaking and other training helps them learn that patience and consistency will pay off in the end.

Goal Setting and Perseverance

Children can learn about the process of goal setting and achievements by being involved in training a pet, be it for house-breaking, performing tricks or obedience training. When they put in the persistent effort these things require, they’re not only rewarded with a well trained pet, but an increased sense of pride and self worth at what they have accomplished.

Leadership

As pack animals, dogs do best in a household where there is a pack hierarchy and an established leader. Although that person should ideally be an adult, you and your dog can teach your child what it means to be a good leader, one who your dog willingly and happily follows.

Communication

Having a pet in the family opens the door to a wide variety of emotions that are very important for children to discover and articulate. Pets can help children learn to express feelings of love, compassion, caring and concern. And experiencing the sadness involved in saying goodbye when a pet passes away, helps children learn to deal with loss.

Kindness

Although kindness is not exactly what I would call a “life skill,” I’m including it because, of all the things pets can teach children, I think it might be the most important. Children who are taught to be kind to animals grow up to become compassionate adults who treat both humans and animals with kindness and respect throughout their lifetime. That, in my opinion, is a priceless lesson to learn.

So you see, pets can teach children a great many skills that will help them grow up to become well-adjusted members of our society. When you add in the pure delight pets can bring to a child, it seems unthinkable to let them grow up in a house without one.

Read more articles by Julia Williams

Do Dogs Sense Fear?

By Linda Cole

I have never been afraid of dogs, but I have friends who are terrified of them. Is their fear warranted? Can dogs sense when someone is afraid of them and if so, does it cause them to react differently towards someone who is fearful? Can dogs feel other human emotions too, or is it just a figment of our imagination, or wishful thinking?

Fear is a natural reaction to situations where we feel we have no control. Animals know when to run and when to fight. If dogs sense fear from us, does that mean a dog who is normally submissive can become aggressive towards us? Yes, if he knows you are afraid.

Because dogs are experts at reading body language, they can quickly pick up on someone who is afraid of them. They can actually smell fear. When we are scared, sweat glands are more active which will produce “body odor” a dog can smell. There's even evidence dogs can see fear as well as other emotions on our face. However, our body language sends the strongest and most significant signal to a dog.

Dogs sense fear and can read us like a book. People who are afraid of dogs often stare at them, which the dog interprets as being confrontational. Instead of staying calm, a fearful person will tense up, which also tells the dog this person wants to fight. Someone who is afraid of dogs will likely have no idea what a dog's body language means; therefore, their body language may be telling the dog all the wrong things. A fearful person can put the dog in a defensive state of mind.

If dogs sense fear through body language, the best way to defuse a situation is by understanding both the body language of dogs and your own. Avoid making eye contact, stand still with your arms loosely at your side, remain calm, keep your side toward the dog and never run away. Don't yell or kick at the dog, or try to hit it with a stick or your hands. Slowly back away and keep an eye on the dog without giving it direct eye contact. If you see a dog sitting on the sidewalk ahead of you, walk around him. This tells him you mean him no harm and you're just passing by. A straight on approach signals to the dog you want to meet him.

So if dogs sense fear, do they also know when we are happy or sad? Most scientists who study animals say no, but most pet owners who interact with their pet every day would disagree. I've lived with dogs and cats my entire life, and have always been amazed by their ability to know when I am in a good mood, upset or angry. They react differently depending on my mood. Researchers agree dogs can show primary emotions like anger, fear or anxiety, but other emotions are beyond a dog's range of feelings because they believe dogs don't have a sense of “self.” They theorize that jealousy or empathy could not be felt by dogs. I'm not sure I agree. My dogs do show jealousy and I have the scars to back me up, from breaking up dogfights over who was going to sit next to me.

A video of two dogs was shown on the news last winter. One dog had fallen into a frozen pond when the ice broke under him. The other dog would leave, but kept coming back to check on the one in the water. Did the dog sense fear from his companion? It seemed like he knew the dog in the water was in trouble. He would run up to people standing on the bank as if he was pleading for help. Was he showing empathy for the dog stuck in the freezing water? Both dogs were rescued and returned to their owner. The one in the water had no injuries other than shivering from a dip in a frozen pond.

Those who live with dogs and cats see every day how their pet reacts to them and the world they live in. Dogs who share our homes with other dogs or cats are as individual as humans are. Some dogs are smarter than others and may show more emotions than others. Dogs sense fear as well as anger and anxiety. As for love, empathy, jealousy or other emotions, the jury is still out – but don't be surprised if your dog snuggles up to you the next time you're in a sad mood. It's their way of saying “I love you and I know something is wrong. Can I help?” They may understand us better than we thought.

Read more articles by Linda Cole

Do Pets Have Feelings and Show Emotions?

By Linda Cole

I've been told by veterinarians and animal behavior experts many times that our pets do not have feelings or show emotions. They say pets are incapable of displaying human feelings, and what we think are signs of happiness, sadness or hurt feelings are nothing more than wishful thinking. However, as a lifelong pet owner, I disagree. My pets do have feelings and show emotion, and I see proof of this every day.

We think of feelings or emotions as the ability to show warmth, anger, tenderness, grief and even sulking or pouting. We also tend to believe we are the only species capable of showing feelings and emotions. One does not need to be an animal behaviorist to understand our pets do indeed have feelings which they display. Don't believe me? Then watch carefully how your pet reacts to situations. You might be surprised by what you see.

Meryl is a loving cat who I have belonged to for 14 years. From the moment he was able to walk, I have been his favorite human. He moves a bit slower these days and prefers napping in a sunny window, but when he was a kitten, Meryl was into everything. I use a spray bottle to discipline my pets – it’s safe to use and usually effective. Meryl was a young lad of 4 or 5 months when I discovered the spray bottle wouldn't work on him. He showed me pets do have feelings in his own way, and I still laugh about it today.

I was trying to change the sheets on my bed, and he was sitting on the edge and wouldn't move. Every time I moved him off the bed, he'd spring right back on. We played this game a few more times before I brought out my trusty spray bottle. Three squirts later, Meryl was still on the bed, refusing to move. A couple more doses of water and he still didn't move. However, a twitching tail and sullen eyes told me he was not a happy camper. I finally picked him up and moved him to another room. He gave me the cold shoulder for four days and wouldn't have anything to do with me. He was definitely mad at me. It was quite obvious that I had hurt his feelings by spraying him with water.

When I moved into my first home after college, an American Eskimo named Jack moved in with me. Puff, a handsome yellow cat, joined our little family a couple of months later. I learned from Jack that pets do have feelings and emotions and they react in much the same way we do. Jack was still a pup when I brought Puff home as a kitten. They became best friends and were always together. Puff slept at Jack's side every night. Both had gotten on in years and Puff passed away first. We both grieved his passing, but Jack would return every day to the spot where we had found Puff, sniffing and whining. He would lay on the spot for about an hour, before finally returning to my side. Jack died a year later and I'm not sure he ever recovered from Puff's passing.

I have no doubt pets do have feelings and emotions similar to our own. I have watched my pets display the same kind of reactions to situations as people do. Such as, hurt feelings when I made them mad, grief and depression from losing a friend, signs of affection, displays of anger, and even embarrassment.

Some people believe humans are the only species who can show emotion. However, anyone who has lived with a cat or dog knows when their pet is happy, sad or angry. Pets do have feelings and emotions and show them to us every day. Those who claim pets have no feelings and can't show emotion either don't have pets at home or are simply not paying close enough attention to them.

Read more articles by Linda Cole

Coping With the Emotions of a Sick Pet

Over two years ago my son and I were driving home from work. In the middle of a busy 4 way stop intersection was a little silver patch of hair limping across the street nearly being struck by careless drivers. I immediately pulled into the intersection and yelled at my son to grab that dog before she gets hit. My son opened the passenger door and a frail little Shitzu came to the door and lifted up her little paw. My son grabbed her and she immediately fell asleep on his lap for the 5 minute ride home.

We arrived home to be greeted by my wife who took one look at the dog and said, "Oh my gosh, what are we going to do with her?" The little dog was flea ridden, lost most of her hair, could barely walk and had a toe nail so long it curled all the way around and was imbedded into her tiny paw. I should also mention the smell was so tremendous we could hardly hold her. We bathed her in the bath tub to wash off some of the grime and started the long road of recovery including vet visits, medication, and the introduction of dog food which she apparently had never received before.

We put up signs and an ad in the paper trying to find the owners, but after several days re-thought that idea as anybody who neglected a dog this badly doesn't deserve one, so I went and took the signs down. I called my parents, who hadn't owned a dog in years, and told them I had the perfect little companion for them. They were excited over the idea however I wanted to get her healthy before I turned her over to them. My parents didn't need the emotional burden of dealing with a sick dog as they hadn't owned for years due to the pain of losing our family Dachshund Duke to cancer many years ago.

We named the little dog Lady because she reminded us of a little bag lady wandering the streets. She later received the nick name Lady Bird. The road to recovery was a little longer than expected and those big black eyes took a toll on me. I fell in love with a little tiny homeless dog like no other love I have had for any other pet. She went everywhere with me including going to work every day. Needless to say my parents never got the dog. I later made up for it by giving them a tiny puppy to raise and love on their own. 

I write this story as tears roll down my face as my little Lady Bird clings on to life in an emergency vet hospital. Just over a week ago she was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and valve that is no longer working properly. She has been in and out of the vet 4 times trying to control her heart with medication. Last night she started having troubles breathing so my wife and I once again rushed her to emergency. She has fluid around her enlarged heart and I am terrified awaiting the results.

I understand the pain and emotion of dealing with a sick pet we fall so deeply in love with. I also understand the desire to find fault or blame to help with the pain. However I am also a realist. The facts are Lady is approximately 14 years old and has an enlarged heart. There's no one to blame. I have done everything I can for that little dog and I only pray she pulls through this.

Looking for help on how to deal with my emotions I started surfing the web. To my surprise "blame" is a normal human emotion in a situation like this. Here are a few sites I found that might help you out as well.

www.mypetloss.com

www.findinfo.com/petloss.htm

www.petloss.com/dealing.htm

by Scott Whipple – CANIDAE Pet Foods