More Stupid Animal Jokes

The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests for this summer. They're urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray. Campers should be alert for signs of fresh bear activity, and they should be able to tell the difference between Black Bear dung and Grizzy Bear dung. Black Bear dung is rather small and round. Sometimes you can see fruit seeds and/or squirrel fur in it. Grizzly Bear dung has bells in it, and smells like pepper spray!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Howard was feeling guilty all day long. No matter how he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. Every once in a while he'd hear a soothing voice trying to reassure him - "Howard, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality -"Howard, you're a veterinarian."

-----------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife go out one evening. A few minutes before they leave, they let the cat outside. The taxi arrives. As they step outside, the cat runs back inside. The wife goes and sits in the taxi while the husband goes back inside to get the cat. Not wanting the driver to know that there will be nobody home, she says,"My husbaband went inside to say good-bye to his mother." A short while later, the husband returns and says "I'm sorry, the old thing hid under the bed, and I had to poke her with a coathanger to get her to come out."

----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant? A: A dead ant.

----------------------------------------------------------